‘This was not what I had expected, it was the worst possible outcome’

23 March, 2022 | By Ingrid Fuchs

After finding out I had breast cancer, I spent the Friday evening with my friend and one of my daughters. I let my daughter feel the lump and I showed her the biopsy site. I wasn’t sure if I should tell my husband as I didn’t want to spoil his weekend in Scotland. But then I pictured myself in his situation and thought that I would want to know. I told him the news on the phone. He was shocked but pragmatic too. I spoke to the other three kids too, luckily they took it OK, just happy that I felt the lump and something was going to be done about it. I still call them children but they are all adults now, with ages in the range of 20 to 26 years old. After the news they decided to come home for the weekend, which was really supportive.

On the Sunday, I realised that I had my work computer at home and I decided to log in and find out if there would be a supplementary report available. There it was: triple-negative, K 67, 60 to 70%. That was a shock as it meant that this cancer is aggressive. Not only is it dividing and growing quickly, it also doesn’t have any receptors for the hormones oestrogen and progesterone, or for a certain protein called Her2. This means that hormone blockers, which are usually given after treatment, or trastuzumab, are not an option.

Chemotherapy would become very important for me. Only about 15% of women with breast cancer have this variant and this cancer is also more likely to reoccur. The main treatment for this type of cancer is surgery, radiation and chemotherapy.

This was not what I had expected, it was the worst possible outcome. I didn’t have much time to dwell on it as I had planned to go out for the weekly run with my friend. Walking or running are medicine for me, and always reduce my anxiety and help me to clear my head. The run made me feel better, although I felt sorry for my friend, explaining to him such devastating news.

It was very difficult to make sense of the fact that I have this breast cancer. I am very fit and healthy, and never ill. I think I have had one day off from work due to illness in the last 10 years.

Except for my direct nursing colleagues and a few friends, I didn't tell anybody else the diagnosis over the weekend, I thought it could wait until after the conference. That was my main concern over the weekend, I wanted the conference to be successful but wasn’t sure if I would be able to pull it off. Luckily it went well, I was able to hide behind my professional hat and I don’t think anybody noticed. I had to smile when one of my colleagues mentioned how well I looked. Little did they know.

This blog was originally published in the Nursing Times. Many thanks to them for sharing Ingrid's story.