‘Last week was not one of my best weeks’

20 May, 2022 | By Ingrid Fuchs

I looked in the mirror today and was not happy with what I saw. Pale, bald and definitely looking my age. I always put a bit of makeup on before I go out of the door. I didn’t go anywhere but I did put some makeup on so that I looked more presentable when my husband came home from work.

Having chemotherapy in the winter does have some advantages: people do not notice that you are bald since it’s normal to wear a hat in this weather. My eyebrows and eyelashes have thinned out but they have not gone. I’m tolerating this chemotherapy well. Not much sickness, no metallic taste, still able to eat good amounts of food, only more tired after the chemotherapy.

On Monday I had my second cycle of the new chemotherapy regimen. I have had a cold and a dry, tickly cough and one night kept my husband awake with constant coughing. I did my best to get over it by Monday. I didn’t want to be in the suite, coughing constantly or, even worse, risk not having my treatment. So I had lots of lemon and honey drinks, cough sweets and kept steaming.

On the weekend I took my husband and son to the airport. They went to visit my husband’s parents in the Netherlands. I felt a bit sad that I was not able to go with them. Luckily the twins came home so that I wouldn’t be alone. This was the first time that I drove myself to the hospital for treatment. I really missed my husband, normally he would take me and wait for me until the treatment finished and I would be able to switch off completely. Afterwards we would often go for coffee or lunch, I missed the routine and having him there.

While I was in the chemotherapy suite I observed a patient next to me complaining on the phone to a relative, to a receptionist and two clinical nurse specialists, who visited him, about the coordination of his treatment. He had chemotherapy, daily radiotherapy and an appointment for a procedure that clashed with the radiotherapy. He was cross that the different departments were not communicating with each other. On top of that, the blood sample that was taken was not sufficient. He needed to have his blood retaken, meaning he had to wait longer for his treatment. It always happens to the people you don’t want it to happen to.

I had a chest X-ray before my chemotherapy. Last week was probably not one of my best weeks. My cough slowly got worse, especially after exercise and at night time, which affects my sleep. It is really tiring to have those coughing fits. As it's a dry, tickly cough, once I start, I can’t stop. The oncologist said that it also can be an effect of the chemotherapy I’m having. I’m glad that I had a chest X-ray to find out. The chest X-ray was crystal clear, so not sure what it is, an asthma-related cough or perhaps post-viral bronchitis? Hopefully it will go soon.

One week after my husband and son returned from the Netherlands, my father-in-law died suddenly and we had to drive to the Netherlands to arrange the funeral service. For my husband it meant driving there two weeks in a row, which is very tiring since it’s an eight-hour car journey.

It was highly stressful as all the funeral arrangements needed to be done in two days so that I could be back for chemotherapy on the following Monday. The funeral was a beautiful celebration of his life and my husband and the children gave a true reflection of him in their speeches.

This blog was originally published in the Nursing Times. Many thanks to them for sharing Ingrid's story.